So, we went out and rubbed sweaty elbows with some folks at Iguana last night. Cornered in Iguana’s lobby by the heat and humidity of the outdoors, I had no choice but to watch the following take place:
Loud Drunk Guy: Seriously! I STILL have my Nine Inch Nails shirt. And I WEAR it! HAAAAAAhahaha! Whoa… sorry about that. But, really, I love your wife SOOOO much.
Husband: Yeah… I love her too.
Loud Drunk Guy: Do you KNOW how much I love her? SOOOO much. I always said she was the NICEST… uh… the nicest… PERSON I ever knew! And she WAS!
Wife: (smiling politely) Why, thank you. And I remember the Nine Inch Nails shirt.
Unhappy Baby: Waaaah!
Loud Drunk Guy: Ohhh my GOODnesssss! Let me hold him! Babies LOVE me! I promise, they LOVE me!
Baby: (Cries harder at sheer loudness of Loud Drunk Guy)
Husband: Oh, he’s okay, just hot and-
LDG: HERE. (shoves beer at husband)
Husband: -tired. Umm’kay.
LDG: (lifts upset baby out of mother’s arms and into the air) See? Oh, my GOODNESS! Babies LOVE me! Watch - SO MUCH - I promise!
Baby: (lets go with a long wail and accompanying string of drool)
LDG: (catches drool in mouth mid-“OMG”) Well, I guess- Yeah, I guess he’s probably tired. But, normally! NORMALLY, babies love me! Here, little guy, here’s your mommy.
Wife: (soothes baby)
LDG: (grabs back beer) But, seriously! (yelling at baby) Do you KNOW how much I LOVE your mommy?!
