Is buying suspenders conceding the fight against sag?
Honestly, I hate that draft you get when you sit down and just KNOW your crack is showing. I’ve never been the type to brazen it out. You know, the type that buys a thong with a cute, sequined something-or-other right there where the strings cross above your butt crack? Thereby giving reason to the gap at the back of your britches?
No, I wear a safety shirt at all times. And it’s hot during the summer and clingy during the winter.
And if I don’t wear a safety shirt, I find it necessary to warn people when I sit down not to laugh at my crack. Or I will beat them up.
Okay, I don’t do that second part, but I do do the first part.
Aside: I said “do do” in a post about butt cracks.
Anyway, I warn them. Or I sit against a wall. Walls don’t usually mind if your crack is showing, because they often have a few cracks of their own.
And then there are those rare moments when I - sans safety shirt - am forced to sit in a chair, and as my lower back brushes up against the cool, hard plastic, I find myself wondering how many other lower backs have brushed up against this same cool, hard plastic. And were they clean backs? Were they hairy? Were they clammy from being outside? Clammy from just BEING? Were they accentuated by a tiny, sequined thong? Were they simply the product of some really saggy jeans?
I do my best thinking about suspenders in those moments.
